What type of women have affairs

Certainly, there are times when continuing the marriage wouldn't be recommended. Before you analyze the specifics of the affair from your spouse's perspective and look at why the affair occurred in terms of his or her needs, it's important to look at your own needs.

This can be more challenging than it sounds, especially amidst the jealousy and anger. If you were the one who had an affair, there are several steps you can take if you hope to save your marriage. Foremost you need to stop cheating and lying immediately and own your choice.

Being patient and giving your spouse space is essential. That doesn't say it will work out. It may not. But without accepting full responsibility not blaming or justifying your behavior the chances will be low. The chance that you can get past the affair depends on many factors, such as the reasons why it occurred and the characteristics of both people. To truly understand and move forward, both partners will need to listen to the other which can be extremely challenging in this setting , and not assume that their partner's motivation or feelings would be the same as their own.

For those who decide to try and overcome infidelity, it appears that the mutual capacity to forgive and a strong commitment to the relationship are key. There are many potential reasons for cheating, and marriage is complicated. But speaking directly, expressing your needs, practicing forgiveness, and making a commitment to work on your marriage daily, are the best insurance plans to protect your marriage.

Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. J Comp Psychol. The Demographics of Infidelity in America. Erratum for PMID Therap Adv Gastroenterol. DOI: Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships. Arch Sex Behav. Khalili M, Wong RJ. Dig Dis Sci. Altgelt, E.

Who is Sexually Faithful? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Mark, K. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Park, Y. Create a personalised content profile.

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Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Although social norms and Hollywood portrayals often depict men as the sex more likely to cheat , studies show that the infidelity gender gap is narrowing—especially among younger people. Take, for instance, a research study out of The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, which found that among participants with an average age of 31, "there were no significant gender differences in the report of infidelity 23 percent of men vs.

Further data out of the GSS showed that the percentage of women who cheat rose nearly 40 percent from to while men's adultery rate held steady at 21 percent. The reason for the uptick in women who cheat? Some attribute it to the increased responsibilities and therefore increased needs and wants of the modern woman. Empowered by feminist viewpoints and financial freedom, women are less likely to compromise—and better positioned to seek out the emotional and sexual gratification that's missing in their relationship.

Ed, LMFT. Before, marriage was a vehicle to raise your family and be taken care of financially. Now, we expect happiness, good sex , best friends, and more out of it. We have put a lot of pressure on marriage when it wasn't originally designed to meet all your needs. Meet the Expert.

The question still remains: Why do women cheat? Read on for 12 common reasons, plus expert insight from Skurtu and psychologist Joel Block. This can be seen as the underlying theme of the majority of motivations for infidelity. Dissatisfaction, explains Skurtu, is where it starts. It's completely innocent. For every relationship boundary crossed, the person has to justify their behavior to themselves first, then they are able to compartmentalize the actions.

Not finding satisfaction in a current relationship can trigger someone to seek that satisfaction elsewhere or even use the act of cheating whether consciously or unconsciously as a catalyst to end their current relationship. Be as honest as possible if confronting a partner or being confronted about infidelity. When women find themselves in caretaking roles, they sometimes find it difficult to embrace the kind of self-absorption that is essential to sexual pleasure. Some women can just take off the apron, put the baby to bed, and let go.

But others find that they can do this only when they are outside of the home, and with someone who has no need of their caretaking. But ironically, once the commitment is made, the equation shifts.

And this is even more true in committed relationships, where the woman may suspect that she is simply the convenient object of desire, rather than the chosen subject. He just gets on with it. Women, the story goes, stray only when they are sad, lonely, and love-starved.

Men, on the other hand, are driven beyond the marital bed by the force of their physical desires. A little historical context helps put this assumption in perspective.

Women faced pregnancy, mortality, public shame, and ostracism. Even today, there are still nine countries where a woman can be killed for straying. Madison has enjoyed her fling, but she feels bad about lying to Steve. Where do you want to go? Although Rob felt he had little or no control in these situations, he did begin to appreciate signs of the new, more adult Sarah, someone equal to him, with whom he could have a conversation and negotiate choices.

Treatment in the third phase included helping Sarah get in touch with her fantasies and reconnect with pleasure—one of her greatest challenges in therapy. I asked her to write down some of her sexual fantasies and share what she thought the desire or longing underneath them was. For instance, if the fantasy was to have someone grab her hair and kiss her, was this spurred by a longing to be held, to be out of control, to know that she was wanted and desired, or all of the above? The goal was to normalize her sexual needs: her affair had been a breach of monogamy, not a sexual pathology.

Sarah went on to work on a vision of a more intimate and adult sexuality. This included asking Rob to behave in ways that made her feel special and trying to make him feel special as well. By this point, she was committed to creating a mutual vision of a new monogamy with her husband.

Several months later, Rob and Sarah are still working on an agreement for a new, monogamous marriage together. Sarah is committed to sharing her real thoughts and feelings with Rob. In this way, her adult self and her adult needs become a priority that can be talked about and negotiated in the relationship.

They both try to be conscious of the distant and disconnected roles learned in their childhoods, and focus instead on the emotional intimacy they really want from the relationship. Are we helping them end an affair or end their marriage? Is it our job to remind them of their vows or simply to help them heal?